MS helped me find a new passion in life

Izabela was diagnosed with MS in 2018, when hand tremors forced her to give up her love for photography. However, ultimately, MS led to her finding a whole new passion.

I am the owner and founder of a sourdough bakery called Leavened. We recently celebrated our second birthday, so this felt like a good time to share my story. 

I have always felt an urge to express myself through art. It was about establishing myself in the world as well as sharing my emotions with others. My passion for photography was inherited from my brother whom I lost to a brain tumour a few years ago. The moment he was gone, I felt the need to pick up a camera and capture the world around me. I tried to make my passion into my work and although it wasn’t easy, I got a qualification in children’s photography and started my new career. I would capture all the precious moments for lovely, local families. Tiny toes, natural smiles and connections. It was a truly beautiful and fulfilling experience and I was giving all the families I met something they would be able to keep forever. 

Then came spring 2018. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, my hands started shaking and I couldn’t hold the camera steady. I couldn’t walk too far into the woods for my photo shoots, and holding my body upright was nearly impossible. The warmer it was outside the worse my symptoms were. My GP told me it was due to my newly discovered anaemia and if I took enough iron tablets I would get better. But I wasn’t getting any better. If anything, I was getting worse. I decided that I couldn’t continue to be a photographer. I wasn’t reliable, I couldn’t get sharp images and I wasn’t capable of strolling through the woods whilst taking images. I also felt like I needed to get my diagnosis right as it seemed that there weren’t enough iron tablets in the world to help me. 

I knocked on a few doors and, in the end, I was examined by a young neurologist who said the two words I never thought I would hear – multiple sclerosis. The world stopped, my world. In my head I would soon be in a wheelchair and dead a few years later. I had no idea what MS was and what my future would be like. All I knew was that my mother’s sister had it, she always looked very drunk even though she wasn’t (which I only found out later) and she passed away (due to MS). None of that has happened to me. I am still very much alive (I wouldn’t be writing this if I wasn’t) and the wheelchair hasn’t happened yet. I feel grateful for every moment and every person I met. I felt like I wanted to do everything as soon as I could, as my future will always be unknown. With very little energy (another perk of MS) I started living my life to the full. 

I needed a new job, a new task I could do to feel that I belonged somewhere. I’d always believed I would enjoy feeding people. There was always a lot of baking in my family home, so I decided I wanted to create bakes for a wider audience, but I didn’t know how to do it. I got myself a part time job in a coffee shop so I could watch and learn. I met some wonderful people, and the job was exactly what I needed. It kept me active; I didn’t have to work too many hours so I could still have enough rest for my body to deal with the treatment. It was a blast. 

Then the world stopped again and the pandemic hit everyone hard. And I did what half of the population did too: I started baking sourdough bread. The real thing. It was hard at the beginning, I failed a lot, baked plenty of unintended flat breads and sometimes got stressed as I wasn't sure what I was doing but finally, thanks to Sourdough School founder - Vanessa Kimbell, and my determination, I got it right. 

I was baking more than enough for my family, so I started giving the bread away. Then more and more people wanted it, so I got to the point where my domestic oven just wasn't enough. I rented out a space in our local indoor market and, along with my husband, designed the future bakery. We bought a 20-year-old oven on eBay, invested some personal savings into other equipment and, with the help of friends, started creating Leavened. I always say that it is made of sticks and cardboard as the walls are in fact as thin as paper, and the outside of our counter is made from old pallets. 

The truth is, you don’t really need a lot to bake sourdough bread – a mixer, fridge, large table, and an oven. And passion. And determination. After a few weeks of total mess, we were ready to open. Just like that Leavened came to life, we baked fresh bread from Wednesday till Saturday and people kept coming. I worked long hours, but the passion and people’s reaction kept me going for a long time. 

I have the most incredible team of four (if you count myself). I work with Oli – a pharmacist by trade who is a marketing guru and the best salesperson I have ever met. There is Laura, Doctor of Pharmacy, who bravely quit her 9 -5 job to become a baker creating the most amazing, sweet treats and Charlie – a young man who patiently waited for months until I could offer him a job (he is the strongest one in the team!) We all share the same passion for good bread, good food, learning and feeding people the best there is. It gives us all a great sense of community and we all feel that we contribute to the wellbeing of the locals. 

Unfortunately, everything comes at a price. MS doesn’t like the heat and I’ve been working long hours on my feet, lifting heavy sacks of flour. I sometimes struggle to hold my balance, getting up early and not having enough sleep – all of this is my enemy. At the same time baking bread keeps me sane, gives me purpose, fills my heart with joy, brings me closer to people and makes me feel like I belong. I was told by my nurse that I had to stop otherwise, “my children wouldn’t have a mother the way they needed”.  But I can’t and I won’t stop, until my body says “no”. I am still trying to find a good balance and to work less, it is going in a good direction thanks to the support of my amazing team and my husband too (he knows nothing about sourdough, yet he is the fastest “bread mixer” of all of us!). 

I have good and bad days; I hate the summer, it makes me want to hibernate and wait for better times. Even though every day feels like a big fight with my body and its weaknesses I will keep on going for as long as I can, as I love every day of being a baker. I feel that I owe it to people, that it is a skill or a gift that needs to be shared, and I hope that my customers can feel it in every loaf they take home.

Visit leavened.co.uk to find out more about Iza's delicious bakes.