15 minutes with Diva Hollywood

Diva Hollywood is a cabaret performer who has been performing on stages across the world since 2005, around the same time she was diagnosed with MS. We caught up with Diva to find out about her diagnosis, how she got into performing arts and why it appeals to her.

I've been aware that I'm an artist for pretty much my whole life as I'd always been into visual arts, animation, painting and that sort of thing. I was aware of burlesque and cabaret because I had done acting in the past but I didn't feel like I was the right size. I wasn't a size eight or a super coordinated dancer because I'm also dyslexic and dyspraxic.

In the same year as I got my MS diagnosis, a friend of mine's partner was making a play about a circus performer whose female partner runs off to become a burlesque dancer. The girl that was supposed to do it dropped out and so I ended up in the play completely by chance, but I loved it.

Later that year, I was in New York with an incredible theatre company and we went to this burlesque lounge called the Slipper Room. While we were there, I asked the promoter if I could perform in one of the shows. He agreed that I could in a couple of weeks' time, luckily I was there for three so I just grabbed what I could and made a costume. At this point, I'd never actually performed live.

After that, I got hooked and thought, instead of hiding my body when I became disabled, why not show it off? For the first three years, I was performing with a walking stick a lot of the time because my balance was so off. My left side was spasming and I couldn't see out of my left eye a lot of the time but I could still perform.

It was almost like going into Alice in Wonderland. I was having issues with my eyesight and my vision was woozy to the point that I woke up one morning thinking I was hungover. I had also begun fainting but put that down to overworking or having too much coffee.

Luckily, living in Liverpool means we have the St Paul's Eye Hospital and they booked me in for an MRI. Initially I was told that I had either a brain tumour or MS, which was terrifying. I did a lot of research that week. When I got my MRI results they confirmed it was MS but at that point there wasn't enough scarring to be diagnosed officially or to get any medication. I had to wait for over a year until I could be officially diagnosed.

I was a workaholic and I suppose that my diagnosis helped in some ways. I used to be a digital artist and I would be on the computer for 15 or 16 hours a day, smoking cigarettes, drinking way too much coffee, sleeping for only six hours and then getting straight back onto the computer again. I realised I couldn't be on a computer for this long anymore and that's when I decided that cabaret and burlesque was something I could actually do.

My plan for life is to live like I have four and a half years to live. If you live like you only have a day then you would get arrested but if you live life like you've got four and a half years, then there is still time for naps.

With that in mind, I've been keeping as busy as possible through lockdown and making the most of the time. I've been trying new songs on my ukulele and I'm also learning guitar which is really good for my brain. When I'm having really bad brain fog I feel better after I sing and play. I have been learning ventriloquism as well.

I think I realised that I'm actually an introvert who's only an extrovert when they get paid for it. I really enjoy wearing no make up with my hair up in a scrunchie and comfortable clothing on.

Because Diva Hollywood is so associated with when I got sick, I do talk about my illness and invisible disability when on stage. I think I've missed being able to be the most super version of myself and forgetting about how I feel or my illness because you're always working towards something. I call myself wonky and wonderful.

I'm always working on new acts and I host shows as well. I've been working with an amazing performer in Brighton who has helped me to write an Arts Council bid because I want to take my art practice further and use all of the skills I've mentioned.